"2-D, or Not 2-D? That is Progression:" 3DS Press Conference Predictions

NOTE: This article was written on January 6th, and post-dated to publish on January 17th, 2010. What you are about to read is an 8-Bit Variety Show "Post... FROM THE FUTURE!"

On January 19th it will be my birthday, and as a gift to me, Nintendo of America has decided to stage a press conference to give me all of the launch details for the Nintendo 3DS! Because I love humanity, I told Nintendo that they had to let everyone else in on the information, too. As you can imagine, this was met with a few grumbles, and some drunken shouting.

It's a Game, Not a Quilt: A Case Against Patching

We now live in an age where video games, despite still having a few mountains left to climb, have entered the mainstream. This is a time when Video Game award shows run on network television stations (even if they often suck), where orchestras tour not just the nation, but the entire world playing music from Mario Bros. and Metal Gear Solid, and where a CD of that music could debut in the Top 10 on the Billboard Charts.

This is a time where, instead of feeling lucky that you found a fellow video-gamer at the lunch table, even if all you did was fight about Nintendo vs. Sega, it's a little unusual to find someone who doesn't play games in some form.

"You're a damn LIAR, Mr. President! Sonic would "Blast-Process" Mario
 into the stone age, and YOU KNOW IT!"