"I Shot A Man in New Reno Just To Watch Him Die": Dehumanizing Stories of Excess From The Wastes

The Vault-Dweller ducked into an alleyway and hid behind a garbage can as the Bishop family's cronies ran past. They were ardently searching for the man who had fought his way into their casino. The man in question was easy enough to identify: He wore a blue cloth jumpsuit with a leather jacket over the top of it, and carried a dizzying array of weapons on his back, including a .44 Magnum, 3 different shotguns, a rifle, 2 sledgehammers, 10-15 pairs of clothes, and 6 sets of brass knuckles. This was, of course, in addition to the thousands of rounds of ammunition he was carrying for each weapon.

Even in the dangerous post-apocalyptic world they all shared together, the weaponry that Vault-Dweller carried would be considered overkill, but when questioned about why (or how) he was carrying that much equipment, his only answer was, "I need something to barter with."

In Memoriam: The Heads-Up Display

E3 2011 is behind us, and as it always does, the show has left us with some very memorable moments.

We saw gameplay from a variety of Kinect games, and realized, with sadness, that the most engaging game idea shown for Kinect was called "Sesame Street: Once Upon a Monster".

We saw the exciting unveiling of the Playstation Vita, a new handheld gaming system from Sony. As the fevered excitement died down, we got to watch the gaming press's elite go from giddy to devastated when it was announced that the Vita's 3G support would come from AT&T, a company whose coverage is spottier than a plus-size string bikini.

We saw Nintendo announce their new home console, The Wii U, innovative control method included, and decided that Nintendo does, in fact, name their new systems by waiting until an overworked employee falls asleep on their keyboard.

Other names considered: The Wuu, The NinTabdo Entertablet System, and The swfghdbe;oa'sphaaaaaaaaa...

I was able to get past the Wii U's name with the help of my therapist, but I started to think about the full ramifications of the new controller. The 6.2 inch touch screen, the full set of face and shoulder buttons, the inward facing camera... All of these are gagdets have already been used in some capacity in a whole slew of other electronic devices. As Nintendo is wont to do, though, they have illustrated some very creative ways to use these pieces of technology in conjunction with the proprietary technology from the the original Wii system (like the Wii Remote+, Balance Board, etc.).

Better yet, they've concievably dealt a deathblow to one of gaming's mainstays, and it is to that long-cherished gaming convention that we bid adieu:

The service, though brief, was sparsely attended.
Master Chief courtesy of BenjiPhil08