"I Shot A Man in New Reno Just To Watch Him Die": Dehumanizing Stories of Excess From The Wastes

The Vault-Dweller ducked into an alleyway and hid behind a garbage can as the Bishop family's cronies ran past. They were ardently searching for the man who had fought his way into their casino. The man in question was easy enough to identify: He wore a blue cloth jumpsuit with a leather jacket over the top of it, and carried a dizzying array of weapons on his back, including a .44 Magnum, 3 different shotguns, a rifle, 2 sledgehammers, 10-15 pairs of clothes, and 6 sets of brass knuckles. This was, of course, in addition to the thousands of rounds of ammunition he was carrying for each weapon.

Even in the dangerous post-apocalyptic world they all shared together, the weaponry that Vault-Dweller carried would be considered overkill, but when questioned about why (or how) he was carrying that much equipment, his only answer was, "I need something to barter with."

In Memoriam: The Heads-Up Display

E3 2011 is behind us, and as it always does, the show has left us with some very memorable moments.

We saw gameplay from a variety of Kinect games, and realized, with sadness, that the most engaging game idea shown for Kinect was called "Sesame Street: Once Upon a Monster".

We saw the exciting unveiling of the Playstation Vita, a new handheld gaming system from Sony. As the fevered excitement died down, we got to watch the gaming press's elite go from giddy to devastated when it was announced that the Vita's 3G support would come from AT&T, a company whose coverage is spottier than a plus-size string bikini.

We saw Nintendo announce their new home console, The Wii U, innovative control method included, and decided that Nintendo does, in fact, name their new systems by waiting until an overworked employee falls asleep on their keyboard.

Other names considered: The Wuu, The NinTabdo Entertablet System, and The swfghdbe;oa'sphaaaaaaaaa...

I was able to get past the Wii U's name with the help of my therapist, but I started to think about the full ramifications of the new controller. The 6.2 inch touch screen, the full set of face and shoulder buttons, the inward facing camera... All of these are gagdets have already been used in some capacity in a whole slew of other electronic devices. As Nintendo is wont to do, though, they have illustrated some very creative ways to use these pieces of technology in conjunction with the proprietary technology from the the original Wii system (like the Wii Remote+, Balance Board, etc.).

Better yet, they've concievably dealt a deathblow to one of gaming's mainstays, and it is to that long-cherished gaming convention that we bid adieu:

The service, though brief, was sparsely attended.
Master Chief courtesy of BenjiPhil08

E3 2011 - Impressions on Nintendo's Keynote Address

(If you missed our coverage of the Microsoft Presentation you can find it HERE.)

Hey everyone! Round two of The 8-Bit Variety Show's E3 impressions involves a pointy-eared boy, a round plumber in a raccoon suit, an angel, and a talkative fox with a needlessly angry falcon as a best friend! (Wow... This is starting to sound like a either a really bad fever dream, or a really good one!)

That's right, we're going to tackle Nintendo's press conference, and you can see what we liked, what we didn't like, and what we think of the Wii successor's name (SPOILER: It's unwieldy. More on that later), and you get all of that in semi-chronological order!

Next up: Nintendo

E3 2011 - Impressions of Microsoft's Keynote Presentation

I think that I'm a special kind of nerd. I look forward to E3 each year like douchebags look forward to new hair-bleachings and tanning salon grand openings.

I go out of my way to watch press conferences, read blogs, and I have missed college classes just to make sure that I didn't let any of the big gaming announcements get past me. Good heavens, I skipped an exam so that I would hear about Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword the moment it was revealed!

I'm planning to do a little write up for each of the Big 3's press conferences, and I would LOVE to have you along for the ride! Please, hop into the 8BitVS "Black Van O' Gamin'", take a seat on the mattress in the back, and prepare for E3 coverage, 8-Bit Variety Show style... (It's just like everyone else's E3 Coverage, but with more humor, and racism!)

First up: Microsoft! 

Outside The Bit: The Face of Innovation

Hey everybody! It's time, once again, for a heaping helping of one of my favorite features, Outside The Bit! For those who don't remember, this is the time where a guest writer comes in and enlightens all of us with a fresh gaming perspective. After all, Heaven knows that a person can have too much BitNick... Even I stop listening to me after a while.

That's why we're saved today by Warza, an old friend of mine, and the man who gave us our last OTB, Gaming in the Cold (War). His last contribution was a great read, and if you haven't had the chance to brush up on it yet, I would heartily recommend it.

That said, the article Warza has for us today tackles some thought-provoking issues about technology and games, and it's a fantastic read.

I hope you all enjoy the article, and, as they say in Los Angeles, "Let the 8-Bit Show begin!"

-BitNick

The Face of Innovation:

L.A. Noire and the Future of Gaming

By Warza

I've experienced a revolution in video gaming this week. I've been playing L.A. Noire ever since it came out on May 17th, and I like what I've seen. The game is very "L.A.", and it's very "Noire", and that is a good thing. But the unique thing that this game brings to the table is also what makes it such an engaging experience: L.A. Noire features a groundbreaking new technique for animating faces in-game, and it is this technology that has forever changed the way I think about what video games are capable of.

A Time of Gaming Innocence: A Child's Mario Fanart

I just thought that I would share a picture that was given as a (Grand)Mother's Day gift to one of my co-workers. Her grandson, aged 5, wanted to draw her a picture of something he knew well, and after "working on it for three days", he had the picture scanned in by his parents, and sent to her.

The following image, posted with my co-worker's permission, depicts a level from Super Mario, her grandson's favorite game to watch his brother play.

The Review Tank - Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars

Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars (3DS) Review
by BitNick
I ordered my Nintendo 3DS on Amazon.com months in advance. I had chosen not to upgrade from my DS Lite (an anniversary gift from Mrs. Bit that I had received three years prior) to a DSi, and felt that new hardware, much-upgraded graphics, a better online system, and 3D without glasses, IN THAT ORDER, were more than enough reasons to justify my purchase. With that order, Amazon offered a cornucopia of deals and freebies, which I was happy to take advantage of, like $25.00 off a launch title, a free carrying case, and extra money off with each game purchased.

Now, I must be honest... I was not particularly taken with most the the launch titles for the 3DS. There are a great many games I am looking forward to over the next 3-6 months (plus the Netflix, GOOD HEAVENS, the Netflix), but as fantastic as the built-in software in the 3DS is, I didn't think that it was good enough to keep me completely satisfied for the next two months as I waited for The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time 3D, and Resident Evil: the Mercenaries 3D. I searched diligently for a title to use my $25.00 off credit, and after a careful search, I decided to choose one of the less popular games in the launch lineup; I chose Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars.

Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars Trailer

Shadow Wars is a continuation of the Ghost Recon series, though it shares few commonalities with play-mechanics of previous entries. Whereas the other games in the series are usually first-person or third-person shooters, with an on-rails shooter for the Wii thrown in for good measure, Shadow Wars diverges greatly with its predecessors in that it is not only NOT an FPS, but it is just about as far from that genre as one could get.

A Quick Update from BitNick...

I have been finishing my university finals for the past week or so, and I'll tell you... college finals are like a 3 day-old Ham Sandwich full of gunpowder: even if you survive, your head will be a mess.

Getting things done, figuring out my next semester of classes, going to work, and trying to enjoy the single week off I have had with Mrs. Bit and Little Bit have all created an atmosphere that was not conducive to writing for The 8-Bit Variety Show.

That said, I am working on a review of a game that has been under-reviewed, in my opinion, and it should be added to The Review Tank in the next day or two.

Thanks so much for your patience, and know that I feel really lucky and grateful to have a readership as awesome as all of you are!

As a peace offering for your patience, I offer you the following image of the Nintendo characters in a Brad Pitt and Edward Norton-esque Fight Club:

I think that Samus has an unfair advantage at a bareknuckle boxing match...

Thanks again for being so great, and keep your eyes peeled for our soon-arriving 8BitVS review!

-BitNick